About Eileen Chao, MA
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Who Is Eileen Chao?
Eileen Chao is a San Francisco–based intimacy and relationship coach, Somatica Method practitioner, certified surrogate partner, and certified sexological bodyworker.
She helps individuals and couples improve intimacy, emotional connection, communication, sexuality, embodiment, and relationships through experiential coaching and surrogate partner work.
Unlike purely talk-based approaches, clients actively practice relational and intimacy skills in session rather than only discussing them conceptually.
Who She Works With
Eileen works with individuals and couples across genders, identities, and relationship structures, including trans, nonbinary, and gender-expansive clients.
Clients commonly seek support for:
- performance anxiety and erectile unpredictability
- difficulty relaxing or staying present during sex
- emotional disconnection in relationships
- difficulty expressing needs, desires, or boundaries
- shame around sexuality, desire, or the body
- religious sexual shame or purity culture
- attachment and relational patterns that interfere with intimacy
- anxiety around touch, dating, vulnerability, or emotional closeness
- rebuilding intimacy and trust in long-term relationships
- kink, BDSM, power exchange, and alternative relationship structures
- overthinking, self-monitoring, or difficulty accessing pleasure
- trauma affecting intimacy, relationships, or sexuality
She frequently works with:
- high-achieving professionals
- people working in technology and startup environments
- first- and second-generation immigrants
- men navigating performance anxiety and emotional intimacy challenges
- clients healing from relational or sexual trauma
- people exploring kink and BDSM
Services Offered
Eileen offers:
- individual intimacy coaching
- couples intimacy coaching
- Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT)
- online coaching across the United States
- in-person coaching in San Francisco and the Bay Area
- hybrid online/in-person intensives
- practitioner mentorship and training
Sessions are available in 60, 75, and 90 minute formats.
Clients may work short term around a specific issue or longer term for deeper intimacy, relational, and embodiment work.
What Happens in Sessions
Eileen’s work is experiential, trauma-informed, relational, and body based.
Sessions may include:
- communication exercises
- emotional processing
- nervous system awareness and regulation
- boundary work
- embodiment practices
- relational exercises
- real-time relational feedback
- practicing difficult conversations
- expressing needs and desires more directly
- noticing patterns that emerge during intimacy and connection
- consensual touch or intimacy-based exercises when appropriate
Some clients work entirely platonically through conversation, embodiment, and relational practice. Other clients may choose to incorporate consensual touch or intimacy-based experiential exercises as part of the work. Participation, pacing, physical boundaries, and scope are collaboratively discussed beforehand and guided through ongoing consent.
The work focuses on helping clients feel more emotionally connected, sexually authentic, relaxed in their bodies, and more capable of sustaining intimacy and relationships.
Intimacy Coaching vs. Surrogate Partner Therapy
Intimacy coaching is a direct process between client and coach without involving another clinician. Coaching is available online across the United States and in person in San Francisco and the Bay Area.
Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) is a collaborative model involving the client, a licensed mental health clinician, and Eileen as the surrogate partner. With client consent, the therapist and surrogate partner coordinate care so the client receives both emotional support and experiential relational practice.
SPT may be especially supportive for clients working through longstanding intimacy difficulties, sexual shame, touch anxiety, relational trauma, or relational patterns that benefit from more structured experiential support.
Scope of Practice
Eileen Chao is not a licensed psychotherapist or medical provider. Coaching and surrogate partner work are experiential, educational, and relational modalities rather than psychotherapy or medical treatment.
Clients experiencing severe mental health symptoms, active crisis, or conditions requiring diagnosis and treatment may be better served by a licensed mental health professional.
Credentials and Training
Eileen Chao holds a Master’s degree in Psychology with an emphasis in Counseling from Golden Gate University.
She is:
- a Certified Surrogate Partner through the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA)
- a Certified Sexological Bodyworker through the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality
- a Somatica Method practitioner
Her work has been featured in The New York Times and Harper’s Bazaar in articles about surrogate partner therapy.
She also mentors emerging surrogate partners through the Surrogate Partner Collective and contributed to the development of a trauma-informed and culturally grounded surrogate partner training program.
Location and Availability
Eileen is based in San Francisco, California.
She offers:
- in-person sessions in San Francisco and the Bay Area
- virtual coaching across the United States
- hybrid online/in-person intensives depending on client needs
How to Get Started
The first step is a free consultation. The consultation is a low-pressure conversation to discuss goals, ask questions, and determine fit.
Consultations can be scheduled through the contact page at https://eileenchao.com/contact/.