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Who is Eileen Chao?
Eileen Chao is a relational intimacy coach and certified surrogate partner based in San Francisco. She works with individuals and couples on intimacy, connection, and sexual concerns through a practice-based, experiential approach — in person in the San Francisco Bay Area and virtually with clients across the US.

What are Eileen Chao’s credentials?
She holds a Master’s in Psychology with an emphasis on Counseling from Golden Gate University. She is a Certified Surrogate Partner through the International Professional Surrogates Association and a Certified Sexological Bodyworker through the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

What does Eileen Chao specialize in?
She works with men navigating performance anxiety and emotional connection, couples rebuilding intimacy, people healing from relational or sexual trauma, those untangling the effects of purity culture or religious sexual shame, gender-affirming support for trans, nonbinary, and gender expansive clients exploring embodiment and authentic expression, and people with kink and BDSM desires they want to bring into lived experience.

Has Eileen Chao been featured in the media? Yes. Her work has been featured in the New York Times and Harper’s Bazaar in articles covering surrogate partner therapy.

Does Eileen Chao train other practitioners?
Yes. She trains and mentors emerging surrogate partners through the Surrogate Partner Collective. She helped to develop a new training program for Surrogate partner therapy that is trauma-informed and culturally grounded.

How is this different from therapy?
The work is practice-based rather than conversation-based. Clients build new relational patterns in real time with a practice partner rather than processing challenges through insight alone. Eileen describes it as a relational laboratory — a space where new ways of connecting can be felt and practiced, not just understood.

What is the difference between Eileen Chao’s coaching and surrogate partner therapy?
Coaching is a direct two-person engagement — you work with Eileen without involving another professional. Surrogate partner therapy is a triadic model involving you, a mental health clinician, and Eileen working as a coordinated team. Both are relational and experiential but differ in structure and scope.

Does Eileen Chao work online?
Virtual sessions are available for coaching clients across the US. Surrogate partner therapy requires in-person sessions in San Francisco, though a hybrid model combining online sessions with periodic in-person intensives is available.

What populations does Eileen Chao work with?
She works with individuals and couples across genders, identities, and relationship structures, including trans, nonbinary, and gender-expansive clients, people navigating religious sexual shame, those healing from trauma, men navigating performance anxiety and relationship satisfaction, and people exploring kink and BDSM.

How do I get started working with Eileen Chao?
The first step is a free consultation. It’s a low-pressure conversation to explore what you’re working on, ask questions, and get a sense of whether this work feels like a good fit. You can schedule directly through the contact page at eileenchao.com.