Services

Coaching

Coaching

The sexual shame and misinformation that is pervasive in our culture has wounded all of us, resulting in limiting beliefs that prevent us from seeking pleasure and honoring our own desires. This wounding ends up creating dysfunctions and challenges, which can manifest in many different ways. So for most of us, the sexual challenges we face are psychological rather than physiological.

Having good sex requires these 3 fundamentals:

  1. Pleasure based, medically accurate sex education. I provide information based on the latest sex research which will help you understand your own unique needs and desires.
  2. Solid communication skills. How will your partner learn about your desires and boundaries if you don’t tell them (and vice versa)? Learn how to communicate with comfort and ease.
  3. The ability to self regulate, get out of anxiety and get connected to your body. Many of us deal with general anxiety, performance anxiety, lack of confidence or lack of comfort with our bodies/sex that can take us out of the moment or make sex an unpleasant experience.

So what does this look like? Together, we will do the investigative work to learn about your body, desires and arousal process. You will figure out your needs and the whys of your needs based on science. Then we can practice how to communicate these things to others. Talking about sex can feel super awkward initially, but the more you practice the easier it becomes. Be awkward with me, so you can be confident and comfortable out in the world. I will also help you develop body based skills you can use to keep yourself out of anxiety and to be able to connect to and express your desires in the moment. 

I work with people of all sexual and gender identities. I work with people who are not in a relationship and those in all relationship structures (monogamy, all the various forms of non-monogamy).

Below are common issues that I address:

  • Anxiety: whether it’s performance anxiety, anxiety around intimacy, or just general anxiety that gets in the way of connection and self expression.
  • Sexual dysfunctions and difficulties: lack of sexual desire, low arousal, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginismus, painful intercourse, inability to orgasm, lack of sensation/pleasure, lack of experience, lack of confidence, and porn dependence/addiction.
  • Lack of experience: If you are an adult virgin, or have had very little sexual and relationship experience looking for skills and confidence building.
  • Desires: identify and understand your desires, work through any shame or discomfort surrounding them so that you can be more accepting of yourself and experience more pleasure. Navigating differing desires with your partner(s).
  • Communication: how to effectively communicate about sex and your desires to your partner(s) and how to create a safe space for them to open up. 
  • Sex Education: you will receive open, honest and thorough sex education that is pleasure-based rather than the fear/shame based education we’ve all received, learn about how expectations of gender roles hinder pleasure and connection, and identify and acknowledge the ways in which sex misinformation is affecting our sexual experiences.
  • Experiential Learning: build skills in touch to evoke passion and desire in your partner(s), get out of your head or release anxiety in order to connect more fully to your body.
  • Boundaries: Discover your boundaries and how to communicate them effectively, how to create a dialogue and space for your partner(s) to feel comfortable with finding and asserting their boundaries. 
  • Sexual shame: Shame has built protective shells around all of us. Work through the shame that is holding you back from exploring the depths of your desires, your capacity for pleasure and your authentic expression and connection.
  • Trauma: if you’ve experienced a traumatic event, or ongoing trauma, and as a result feel barriers to sexual and/or physical intimacy.
  • Kink/BDSM: Gain understanding and build skills around all things kinky- understand your kinks/fetishes; how to come out to intimate partners about your kinks/fetishes; understanding dominance and submission and how to play with power dynamics; skills building in using various toys and implements; and why is consent important and how to have consensual exchanges.

Session Length

Appointments are typically 75 minutes in length, once a week. Appointments can also be increased in 15 minute increments if you feel like you need more time. I typically meet with my clients in my office in San Francisco. If you do not live in the San Francisco Bay Area, meeting virtually over video chat is an option.

Learn more about the modalities my work is based on >

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